Anticipation

"Suburban Swank does New York" is only 3 days away. Thats right, come Friday we will be leaving behind cubicle hell for a week of culture, fine cuisine, and well ok let's face it...the shopping..im really going for the shopping.

Ok so updates - Haven't really been posting alot becuase a lot doesnt really happen when Im busy working plus, I've been a good girl anxiously awaiting the return of HKG - we are still in touch., emailing atleast twice a day so things seem to be working out. HOWEVER, just because he's in the picture, that doesn't mean the crazies take the hint and suddenly dissapear. Suavier has been randomly harrassing me with various text messages that include some of this favourite words such as "Puckered" and "asshole". *shudder* Pervert calls a lot too, mostly its just crying onthe other end to which I laugh and hang up. Oxford has been emailing me and leaving messages a lot as well saying things like "I fell in love with you", "I want to be with you" - meanwhile 6 months ago I wasn't good enough for him to leave his girlfriend for. Amazing isn't it? Now, I dont know if this is just PinkPolish thing, but i've also noticed that summer seems to also herald the sporatic callings of random guys from your past. Guys maybe you've gone out to dinner with a few times then stoped calling cause they had a wierd ass fetish or maybe just smelled bad. Guys you used to date but then found cheating on you with your best friend, guys from highschool you never thought you would see again and somehow all these years later managed to get your cell phone number and decide a drunk and dial was a sure way to get into your pants.

And that's another thing Ive been wondering about lately - Anal Sex. I was watching a re-run of a sex and the city episode and Carrie had my thoughts exactly - when did the whole Anal revolution start?! All of a sudden everyone and their dog is having anal sex - what's the attraction? Firstly, in so far as I understand the basic mechanics of it all, you need lube and lets face it, stoping what youre doing to squirt cold KY on your asshole can't be sexy. Then next theres the whole penetration bit, I mean I guess if youve done it alot it goes it pretty quick, (which in itself poses questions cause I would like to know how this affects your bowel movements) but if its your first time it must take a bit of...'coaxing' - like trying to get a skittish squirrel to come eat peanuts from your hands. Then the really awkward part...when he cums, what happens to the cum? You just let it dribble out? Do you keep a towel with you? Do you let it go on the sheets? and what do you say?! "Hey honey, your jis is dripping out my ass could you please sop it up for me?" And even if you were fine with all of this, what about maintenance. As women we already need to worry about monthly waxing or more frequent shaving. So now, we have to worry about our assholes?! And what does it entail? Should we bleach like they do in porn? Do they have keagal exercises for your ass? I think that if our ancestors could see us now they would be very dissapointed. We finally got to an era where men are starting to understand what a clitoris and a g-spot is and now we give them somehwere else to direct their attention? We have known for centuries that men are unable to multi task effectively - so what I ask you, are we doing distracting them from the good stuff?!

Relaxation

Working, going out, and running errands, really does end up making a person feel tired. I've come to discover that I would be a horrible party-animal. Don't get me wrong now, I like the occasional party, booze, and "extra-curricular activity" (if you catch my drift), just as much as the next person, but sometimes, I also like just chilling at home.

I have done just that this weekend. Not only have I been able to sleep in, but I've also just generally been, well, a couch potato.

As Meredith Grey widely asked: Why do we keep hitting ourselves over the head with a hammer? Because when we stop, it feels sooo good.

The one thing I did do this weekend was going to movies on Friday after work. I saw John Tucker Must Die. It was really good. I laughed and made sarcastic comments the entire time. It was awesome! It's one of those feel good summer movies. The only detail of the movie that I was off about was the ending. I thought it would end one way, but it took another route. I guess it was kinda predictable but meh. Let's just hope they don't make a sequel. "Tucker does college..." or something ridiculous like that. Or maybe they should. I wouldn't mind seeing Jesse Metcalf shirtless again.

During the previews of the movie, a really great one came on for a movie called Step Up. It stars Channing Tatum and some other chick we don't really care about. Let's face it folks, all the ladies are going to go and see the movie because of the hot leading male. *Sigh*

Hope all of you are having a relaxing weekend as well. I'm going to go back to doing nothing. It's so much fun!

Something I stumbled upon...

While I was watching "She's The Man", I heard them recite a really great line that Malvolio says in Shakespeare's play, Twelfth Night. I thought it was worth posting.

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon 'em."

Oh, and by the way, today is my birthday. Let's all rejoince in the fact that I was born a little over two decades ago. =)

Recovery

A couple of days ago I received a phone call from ToonMan. I was at work and my cell phone went off. It was a restricted number, and I don't usually answer those, but I thought, meh, I have nothing better to do. (I'm at work after all.) When I picked up the phone, I heard a male's voice on the other end. I didn't recognize his voice when I heard it, so he had to tell me who it was. After he said his name, I was just dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do.

His intention was to ask me to the movies. I believe he wanted to see Cars, which looks cool, but I don't know if I want to spend the money to go and see it. Anyways, I got to thinking...after getting off the phone with him, I could feel my heart beating faster, and my palms were all sweaty.

After sitting on his invitation for a while, I had an epiphany. I'm in love with ToonMan. That's right. I said it. I'm in love with a man I can't have.

He gave me a call after his hockey game and told me that he had to go and be with his Ms.Masters because her nonna is in the hospital and took a turn for the worse. I guess that comment sorta put me back in my place. I hate it when he says things like that to me, but then again, what can I do about it? *Deep sigh*

I am also trying to avoid Mr.UN-Wonderful. I think it would be really awkward if we bumped into each other right now. Every time I think of him, let alone look at him, I think of the washroom in his apartment. Ugh, the smell....

Lesson of the week: Never live with slobs.

Quote of the Week

"Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more."
- Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

Whirlwind Adventures

It's been a while since I've made a proper post, so I thought I would inform you of all the whirlwind adventures that I (and PinkPolish) have embarked on.

PinkPolish already explained to you about Greek Town which was such an awesome time! The music was good, the atmosphere was rocking, but the food royally sucked. It had no flavour to it, and it was waaaaay too over-priced. On the other hand, the drinks were really good, but that can also be a bad thing. When you can swig something back in one sip, that's gotta tell you something. Anywho, we ended up calling it a pretty early night, but it was a good one nonetheless.

Moving away from the weekend to the workweek...I had a few encounters with Mr.Wonderful. A few times I was able to talk to him, but others I just sat there and did nothing. (I also bought a beautiful pair of wedge sandals over the duration of the week. They are sooo pretty!) On Friday I had made plans with PinkPolish, ITGirl, and another male friend which I will not name at this time to head out to Little Italy. I thought it would be the perfect time to invite Mr. Wonderful out too.

So I gathered whatever balls I had and tried approaching him, but he was always with people, so I was never able to actually ask him. What I ended up doing was going to WelcomeDeskGirl, and she emailed him on behalf of PinkPolish asking him to come out. Since PP and he barely spoke in the class they had together, he was a little shocked that she would invite him out. He finally figured out that it was me that wanted him to come out. Yadi yadi yada, PP saved my ass and he ended up coming out.

Little Italy turned out to be okay. The restaurant wasn't that bad, the Irish pub was boring, and the other place we went to for drinks sucked. $14 for a martini? I don't think so. The night went from alright to bad when the waitor from the place we went to in Greek Town showed up. But I'll let PP tell you guys about that because only she can really put it into words. All I can say about it...he was a metro-sexual who looks like a pervert and a pansey.

On the way home, PP, Mr.Wonderful, and I all had to pee. So, we stopped in a parking lot and Mr.W relieved himself. PP and I held it in until we got to his apartment and peed. Oh dear God, I will never live in that apartment building. Now I know what an apartment shared by 2/3 guys looks like. It was absolutely vile in the washroom. I had to hold my breath the entire time. Well, at least there was toilet paper. I went into the washroom first since I had to go realy badly, then PP went. While she was in there, Mr.W showed me the view from his apartment. It was quite nice, a better smell than the apartment itself, and you could also see campus from there. Once PP was done, we left. We headed towards the elevators, and when we pushed the button to go down, it made a weird noise, so we got out of the elevator and stepped into another one instead because, well, let's face it, I'm not about to die in an elevator. We reached the first floor, bumped into some of his roommates, and then realized that we forgot the car keys in his apartment. So here we are calling him asking to bring down to the keys. (It was such a good thing that I took his number down that night.)

One realization I had that night: Mr.Wonderful isn't really wonderful, he's...for lack of a better word, Mr.UN-Wonderful.

After relieving our bladders, we got back on the road, except I wasn't completely relieved. I still had to go...again. So PP gunned it on the highway and got me home in record time.

Last night, I watched two movies, She's the man, which was amazingly funny, ya'll should definately check it out, and 8 Below (mmm Paul Walker is soo hot!), which was another amazing movie! And today, I plan on doing some reading and spending a bit of quality time with my nephews.

And the countdown begins. Only 11 days left 'til our great escape to New York!

Quote of the Week

"Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know." - Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

A Woman Scorned

Every woman MUST go to this site to follow the tragic tale of woe of yet another wife to join the ranks of the tossed aside-for-a-stupid-slutbag-whore club. The blog follows the demise of Emily's marriage to the dickhead Steve and her now 14 DAYS OF WRATH upon her discovery of his infidelity. Id like to dedicate this post to Emily. You give that cocksucking sack of shit hell! I think together with the rest of the people reading this I can whole heartedly wish that he suffers a long and drawn out painful death at the hands of syphyllis caught too late, and lives out the fate of a 18th century prostitute crusted over with the puss that invetiably oozes from her bodily orifices who goes insane and ends up a dead, rotting corpse prey to the drunkards who pass by and defile her!

To Follow Emily's 14 Days Of Wrath visit her Blog!

http://thatgirlemily.blogspot.com/2006/07/this-photo-is-what-ive-been-talking.html

Greek Town

So saturday night the ladies, LemonDrop and myself decided to hit Greek Town in Toronto for a girlie night on the town with souvlaki. And as usual its not a girls night out until there are atelast a few cocktails had, so we each were 'daintily' sipping down what they called 'Poseidon's Dream" which basically consisted of blue liquer, sprite, lemon and some vodka - dangerous because they are so easy to swallow! Well after we had our drinks and our almost 40 year old bulgarian, married, waiter hit on us shamelessly we ordered our food which was over priced and rather bland but the live greek band made it wall worth it. Things were going fairly well considering every other waiter would come by and either try to hit on us or gawk down shirts. Eventually this one waiter who kept 'accidentally' knocking my purse off of my chair and then going under the table to 'pick it up', finally got around to introducing himself to me. His name was Peter, he was 29, very greek and when I stood up, VERY short. I believe he had to have been about 5"5 3/4 and myself bieng 5"6 but decked in atelast 3" heels I towered over the wee greek man. Finally after about 10 minutes of him spewing the most innane details of his life to me I discovered not only is Peter 29, but he also usually only dates Polish women, likes to be beaten during sex - as in fully slapped in the face(!), has a criminal record for selling cocaine in the US, and wants me to go away with him for a week in august. That's right, the guy didnt even know my real name and he asked me to go away with him. What is it with me? So far I have had Suavier, creepy WOP from my office, The Pizza Guy, and now the Wee-Greek Man asking me to on trips with them!! Obviously one day in a drunken stupour i had "I like to leave the country with strange men" tattooed on my tits and I forgot completely about it.

Office Space

So yesterday I was able to coerce LemonDrop in creating some photos of our times together. All this recent scrapbooking business made me realise that I dont really have any pictures of myself or my friends so I thoguht it was about time to create some memories. While LemonDrop and I were posing on the hood of my car, we even got some honks from some very perverse men - nothing like a little perversion to make a cherish moment among your friends that much more memorable!

Alrite so down to business. Updates. HKG and I are still going strong, I see him a few times n ow and then since he is up north right now working but it seems to be working out. We get along really well and dont experience any of that distance awkwardness that seems to grow between people when they havent seen eachother in a long time. Im going up north today actually after work to visit my parents at the cottage so I am planning a lover's rendevoux (spelling?) friday night.

Now onto the stuff that Ive been thinking about lately. After spending the past month working in a cubicle, in a tiny office, I have come to realise that I am just not cut out for the corporate world. The cubicle, the clock, mondays - theyre EATING MY SOUL! I was so bored the other day I even wrote an "ode to mondays" which will be featured next monday on the blog. Now I dont know if it's just me, am i alone in the world in my feeling that this cubicle is sapping my spirit, breaking my will to live? Does anybody else feel this way? How do you put up with it? The incessant striking of the keys, that one flickering flourescent light, the pacing sound of your bosses feet as he stalks the grounds practically whipping his employees into submission. And why is it that all of these offices seem to have the mysterious dark stain on the carpet, one that has been there long as anybody can remember but nobody really knows what it is? Ill tell you what it is, its the blood of those who came before who slowly went mad and decided to gouge out their own eyes with a ruler rather than having to sit one more hour infront of their computers.
Everyday, when I walk through that front door, I die a little.

Quote of the Week

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

A weekend for the memory books

I think this past weekend must have been my best yet!

Friday: Went to watch Shakespeare in the Square, an outdoor play performed by professional actors, with Shewhomakesmencry. The play was Much Ado About Nothing, and it was absolutely fabulous! Not to mention the men in the play were gorgeous!

Saturday: Went to Centre Island with my nephews and my sister-in-law. Oh man, it was a blast! We went on all the rides, and had lunch in a park. The weather was on our side that day too. It was warm in the sun, and cool in the shade. Perfection.

Sunday: Went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2 with PinkPolish. It was such a good movie! I loved the action, and Captain Jack Sparrow was just absolutely gorgeous! Mmm, I never thought I would like a man who wore eyeliner, but with him...

Update on Mr.Wonderful: Nothing has happened. I'm still chicken shit, and don't think anything will come out of it. I plan on just sticking to my department and NEVER venturing into his.

One thing I'm excited about: NEW YORK CITY! Our trip is almost here! We have a little less than a month left and we're going to be cruisin' the streets of Manhattan and causing a raucous in the clubs.

The new guy

PinkPolish and I went back to the same lounge we ventured to last week. It was really different this time. The crowd was different and that gave the place a different vibe. ITGirl actually danced with a guy that she kept making fun of the whole night. (He looked like he was having a seizure every time he moved on the dance floor.) It was hilarious! Deep down inside I knew she had it in her, but wow, she got down with her bad self. PinkPolish had an eventful night. She danced up a storm and had a really yucky martini. One of the new bartenders made it and he had no idea what he was doing. After trying a sip of it I felt drunk. It was all booze and no fruity stuff. As for myself, I had a slow night. I danced, I drank, and I went home. Exciting ain't it?

Now, moving on to better things...there's this guy at work that I have the hots for. I know that you shouldn't date your co-workers because of conflicts which could arise at work. I understand that, but I really like this guy. Everyone keeps telling me what a sweetheart he is and what a great sense of humour he has. If I hadn't know this, would I be liking him this much?

Problem: We are both extremely shy. (I know that's hard to believe if you've been reading this blog from day one, but yes, I am a very shy person.)
Solution: I have DeskGirl who will "talk" to him for me. I have Flamboyant who will set up a lunch date for us. I have PinkPolish who wants his email addy so she can set something up as well. Jeez, you'd think with three people I would have made some progress, but guess again. I got nothing. I feel like I'm holding myself back. On the one hand I don't want to put myself out there because I might get hurt, but if I get rejected, I'm also going to have to see this guy every day at work.

I completely freaked yesterday. As DeskGirl and the other employees (including Mr.Wonderful - that's what he will be dubbed as), were leaving work, DeskGirl called him back to talk to him. I thought she was going to say something to him about me while I was there. So I did what any normal person would have done. I made a break for it and walked as fast as humanly possible in flip flops to my bus. It turned out that she didn't say anything to him. Thinking back on yesterday's events, I looked like an idiot.

I can't even look Mr.Wonderful in the eye. Every time I see him, I get butterflies in my tummy, and that's when I know I really like a guy. I can't look at him without getting all nervous and turning a deep shade of red. *Sigh*

Also, I don't even really know him. I don't talk to him all that much, obviously I'm too shy and nervous, so how can something come out of nothing? That is my question for you guys. What do I do?

Quote of the Week

"Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate." - Anonymous