My crowning moment

I just had to post this because I was so excited.

Today, I tried on a pair of Manolo Blahniks. As soon as I put the shoe on I felt like I was floating on a cloud.

I actually fell in love with a pair of shoes.

*Sigh* If only I could buy them. PinkPolish and I have a system to avoid buying shoes. we just say to ourselves, if they're too expensive, that they make our ankles look fat. But the price tag on this shoe alone did enough to scare me away. With a 50% discount, the shoe was still $395.00 (CND). Still, that is considered reasonable for a Manolo.

The end of summer

While watching some mind-numbing tv yesterday, I noticed all the back-to-school commercials that have been airing. The commercials served as a sad reminder that school is just around the corner.

I'll be entering my fifth, and final year, of my BA. I have mixed feelings concerning the new school year. I'm nervous because this year will be very important, but I'm also kind of sad/afraid because everything is going to change after this year. Everyone will move on to their respective graduate schools, which means that some people will be moving out of province, while others will be getting jobs and entering the work-force.

Of course I'll always keep in contact with my friends, but the fact remains that change is fast approaching.

GRΣΣK

Recently, I've become obsessed with thie new ABCFamily show called Greek. It's about a group of college kids and their respective lives. Just to make things exciting, the majority of the characters belong to frat houses. Check out this YouTube clip for a preview.

I wish I could find my own Cappie. He's adorable, smart, funny, laid back...the list can go on. However, Evan is also a really great catch. There's just something really strange about him. I just can't seem to put my finger on it.

Anyways, ya'll should definately check out a few of the episodes. The show also has a really good soundtrack to it. It showcases veteran punk-rockers The Plain White Ts, The Dollyrots, Aidan Hawken etc. Also, the website has some pretty good free downloads, so take advantage of them while they're still available!

I never really knew what it meant to be poor, but I've quickly come to discover that it's not very fun. I haven't been able to go out as much as I'd like and when I do go out, it's to do things like watch a free Shakespeare play, or take a walk around the block. School is just around the corner, and I know I should be reviewing for it, but I feel like I haven't had much of a summer. Next year, however, I'm going to travel all over Europe, or at least England, France, Spain, Greece, and Italy. If I can make it over to Hungary for a couple of days, I'd like to go there too. It's just a matter of saving up enough to money to take that trip.

Well boys and girls, I better get back to work. I hate being in the office when there isn't a whole lot to do. At least I get to leave early this today and I have next week off. FINALLY. A well deserved break.

A revelation

It is my sad duty to report that for the last couple of months I've been having unsatisfactory sex. That's right, I said it. It's not just me though, it's women around the world. So I sat down one night and really thought about it. I mean, why is it that we get the short end of the stick? The guy can finish and feel great but us women are left with nothing but cum stained sheets and frustration.

I have, however, noticed one common denominator in situations when this occurs: the guy pulls out just when I'm about to orgasm. Why? Just because he finishes doesn't mean I'm done too. Women need a little more coaxing, and caressing, and care. Is that so much to ask for?

I move to set some ground rules for men to follow, because God knows some of them need detailed instructions. Please feel free to add to the following list:

1. If you are privileged enough to have oral sex performed on you, please do not try to face-fuck us, pat us on the head, or pull our hair. (Also, if requested, do not cum in our mouths.)

2. Handle our breasts with care. They are not a lump of dough that you can kneed and pound. For this point, I will go back to the cardinal rule we were taught in kindergarten (with a slight modification). Treat our breasts the way you want your balls to be treated.

3. Please be courteous and ask if the woman you are with is using birth control or would like to use a condom. DO NOT ASSUME YOU CAN GO BAREBACK.

4. When entering a woman, start off slow. Do not immediately thrust in and out. That motion is not only painful but is a HUGE turnoff.

5. Once the intercourse is underway, follow whatever instructions the woman gives you. For example: If she screams, "Harder, harder..." You go harder. DO NOT, under any circumstances, slow down!

6. If you are about to orgasm, let us know! This will give us some inclination as to how much longer the intercourse will last.

7. If you finish before us, DO NOT forget about us! We want to orgasm just as much as you. SO FINISH US OFF. Trust me, a little extra effort on your part will go A LONG WAY.

8. Do not be afraid to perform oral sex on us! We will let you know what we like and what we don't like. You will reap the rewards if you get it right!

In conclusion, do not leave your partner unfinished. It's rude and aggravating. Take your time and enjoy. Remember, one bad night can completely screw you over. We all know that women talk. If you get a bad review from one of us, and you try to sleep with another woman who happens to know your previous unsatisfied partner, you will NOT get laid.

Praying MAN-tis

After a very filling dinner last night I came home to throw on my fat-man clothes and lounge about before hitting the sack when I turned on the TV and started watching a show called "When Animals Go Bad" about the various mating habits etc of different animals. I was especially interested in the Praying Mantis and after watching it started making a lot of human connections. Here is what I learned:

The female praying mantis is much larger than the male and apparently quite moody. In order for the two to mate, the male must begin a process which greatly resembles foreplay. He must first calm down the female and gently stroke her, rubbing her back and her front. (Men, I hope you're taking note) He then gets behind her and mounts her rubbing her down still to keep her steady and violently thrusts himself in. His rubbing continues as he pumps on. The mating process of the praying mantis usually takes about 2 hours (Keep dreaming ladies). However, as is common, about 2 minutes into the act, the female turns her head around and proceeds in one swift movement to bite off the head of the male. You would think that it would kill the mood, but ohhh no. The male continues to pump because as it turns out, he actually has two brains, one in his head, the other at the bottom half of his body so that in the event he is decapitated he can continue to fulfill his duties. The process ends and his body is left discarded, and the female moves on either pregnant or onto her next conquest.

Once I had seen this, I had to reflect upon it for a moment. I bet a lot of women could really relate to this process. There have been quite a few times during sex that I've gotten a really good look at the person behind me and have wished I could have taken off his head right then and there but I've always tried to supress my urges that lean towards dismemberment. But perhaps we should be taking a cue from our sister animals. After all haven't we all come to the realisation, and usually through experience, that in 98% of men their true brain and thought process reside in the 'lower half' of their bodies?

Return of the Blogger

And so the saga continues. After almost 8 months of MIA, PinkPolish has returned. I am rather shamed to admit that my blogging hiatus was the result of a controlling boyfriend who became highly religious. But, those ties have been severed, there's no room in my bed for three well-hung men if God is constantly stealing the covers! So let's make this a quick update on what has been going on so that I can get back to my usual musings. Ive been working an awful job again in an office - as usual it eats my soul and often I imagine cutting off an appendange of mine just to get the day off. I started seeing a really amazing guy a few months ago who is completely unlike anyone else I have met and for once I am actually satisfied. I have one year left to finish my degree so I am making plans for the "future". You know, its pretty depressing when you realise you can sum up an entire 8 months of your life into three sentences. But trust me, along the way there were many sexual misadventures, and broken hearts, so I was (re)productive atleast!

Anyways, so the next two weeks are going to be quite interesting. I am going on a 11 day east coast driving adventure with the new guy I'm seeing...I suppose he needs a name...he shall forthwith be known as "Cheeks" cause daaaamn does he have some really firm ass cheeks. *drools ever so slightly but not enough to be un-ladylike* I will try to post while im there but chances are I wont be around any wireless connections.

Tomorrow LemonDrop and I will be heading out for a night of misbehaving so I will post on that tomorrow.

10 most played songs on my music player

1. World spins madly on - The Weepies
This song just reminds me that no matter what you just have to keep moving.
2. Life is a song - Patrick Park
As the title suggests, life really is a song, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes in between.
3. Warm sunny beaches - Paul Brandt
I always feel like I'm at the beach when I hear this song. The sound of Paul's calming voice and the guitar it very soothing.
4. Caught up in the moment - Big & Rich
I've always wondered what it would be like to live in the moment. This song sort of gives me a glimpse into that.
5. Funny little feeling - Rock n' Roll Soldiers
I love walking while listening to this song. Sometimes I feel like I have a sense of purpose when I hear the wicked guitar playing.
6. I hate everyone - Get Set Go
This is my classic "You all suck" song.
7. Kerosine - Miranda Lambert
Because doesn't just everyone want to burn something at one point or other in their lives?
8. One girl revolution - Saving Jane
A new favourite of mine. As one of PinkPolish's professors used to say: "Someone needs to START THE REVOLUTION!"
9. Didn't even see the dust - Paul Brandt
Life just passes you by and you don't even realize it. *sigh*
10. Working class hero - Green Day
Although I'd prefer the John Lenon version - so much more emotion behind it...but let's not get back into the Johnny Cash vs. Nine Inch Nails debate. I'll win. The end.

Bad Days

I'm having a pretty bad day. Work has been crap and some of my co-workers have been crappier. There's this one person who always complains about having too much work to do but never tries to finish any of it. This person would rather spend more time on facebook and msn than his job, which for the most part I don't blame him, but when I have to pick up his slack, I get pissed.

Furthermore, I've been given all the tedious and menial jobs in existence. I understand that my job description says I am to support other members of my department, but fuck, when you start taking advantage of my kindness, you get cut off. For example, today, I got to lift 30lb boxes, tape some of them, repackage others, tape them back up, and label them. It was joyous fun. But here's the best part of my day, I got to rip stickers off of a plastic box! Stickers that are next to impossible to take off. I sat there trying to peel each and every one off. Yep, this is what a universitiy degree gets you folks, a job that forces you to peel stickers off of plastic boxes.

Thank God PinkPolish and I are in constant communication via email otherwise I think I would have blown a gasket today. A few of my good friends at work have been awesome to me and giving me my space. Thank goodness for sane people.

I think I've been controlling my temper very well. The last time I completely lost it, I was completely pushed over the edge and punched two holes in a wall at home. I felt pure rage. It was kind of scary. Nobody would go near me after that incident. Maybe I'll go home and have a good cry about it. Yeah that's right, I cry. I'm not a cold, heartless creature. I have feelings too.

Anyways, that's enough bitching. Ya'll don't want to hear about that.

I went to the becah on Monday which was nice. I forgot how great the sand feels between ones toes and how the sound of the lake's waves are so soothing. I think I'll be going back up there this weekend to unwind. There was this great provincial park that had a private beach. I'd probably have to get there pretty early in the day to gte the primo spot at the far end, however, it'll be worth it. I'll pack a picnic lunch, a trashy novel, some tabloid magazines, my cowboy hat, and a cooler full of booze. Ahh, it's going to be a good weekend.