"Alchie, Bushes, and Shields oh my!"

So as I was coming out of class today with PinkPolish and JW we were having a conversation about how weird our professor can get sometimes, when I hear an obnoxious sounding voice. I looked directly in front of me and what, or who, do I see? Alchie. Yep, that's right folks, the drunken idiot himself. I couldn't believe it. I got this look of fear on my face and started walking in a completely different direction. Unfortunately there was no bush for me to dive into. (More on that later.) PP realized that something was wrong, and when she figured out exactly what it was, she sheilded me from the vernom. Ugh, he looks just as drunk and obnoxious as the first time I met. Why did I even go out with him? What was I thinking? You know what I think it was? It was a coyote ugly.

Definitions:
Coyote Ugly - When you get so drunk, that when you wake up the next morning, you see this really ugly pile of skin beside you that you would rather chew your arm off rather than wake him.

I've been diving into bushes, snow banks, and restaurants to avoid Alchie. First it was a snow bank last winter. Then it was a bush in the spring. (I got a lot of scratches from it.) And just before school started it was a restaurant on campus. I mean, I actually dove in behind the counter. Today, it was the PP and JW shield.

All I can say is, ladies and gentlemen, any time you see an ex that you really don't want to see/have small talk with/interact in any sort of way, you dive into a bush. It's either that, or hit the floor and pretend a bomb erupted. Or, if you're really good, you can start up a conversation with an individual next to you and perhaps avoid this "person" that way. Who knows. Get creative.