Why are men so stupid?

Can anyone tell me why? Why do men do the dumbest things? Why do they say the most incredulous things? Why do they act so absurd?

As PinkPolish mentioned, there was a monster heat wave yesterday and it was scorching outside. I probably could have made breakfast on the pavement.

Anyways, after getting back from work, I peeled off my clothes and took a shower. To help keep myself cool, I thought I would put on some shorts and a tank top. [Keep in mind, there is nothing skanky about wearing shorts and a tank top.] So far so good right?

It gets even better. I went to the mall in search of the perfect pants...ladies (and some men), you know how difficult this quest can be. It's like searching for the freakin' holy grail. Speaking of which, maybe I should call in Monty Python - King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table with the coconuts. I parked my car in the mall's lot, and as I walked towards the mall doors I was honked at a couple of times. No, I was not jay walking or cutting someone off. I was just minding my own business. Why do men do that? Then, just as I was about to enter the mall, some guy comes up to me, I mean right up to my face and says, "Whoa baby, shake that ass for me, cuz you know you want to." For fuck sakes. Can you not say anything better than that?

First off, why would I want to shake my ass for you? Do you get pleasure if you see a ripple effect happen? Do you find yourself mesmerized by a bum going back and forth? For the love of God, no woman wants to shake her ass for a man. If she does, she will do it on her own! Nobody needs to fuckin' tell her to do so!!!

My retort to this guy: Why don't you shake your ass home before my foot goes up it.

Knowing this guy though, he probably would have liked that, but he willingly backed off. [I mist have portrayed a great deal of rage (I'm talking about the kind of rage Achilleus felt when Agamemnon took his booty - I'm a Classical Studies major, that kind of allusion was bound to come up sooner or later.) and spite.

Anyways, I went home, and it was still bright enough outside, and slightly cooler, that I thought I'd go for a jog. Once again I was honked at. WHEN I WAS WEARING TRACK PANTS AND A TANK TOP! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? All you hear is "Beep beep.....VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM."

Do the men expect us to kick off our shoes, jump onto the bumper of the car and thank them once their car comes to a stop? Do they want us to think that we're special because they honked and took off? The last living brain cell comes up with this kind of concept! Honking and driving off. The least they could do is stop so I can see the fucker who thought it would be a smart idea to honk, and then I would galdly compliment them on their lack of intelligence.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

I think a "Dear Universe" letter is coming up soon...