Urban Safari

I told myself I wouldn't bring this up as a topic of discussion, but I am a harsh judgemental cow so I must. Have you ever noticed how the beginning of spring has the uncanny ability of bringing out into the illumintaing light of day the stretch-marked, cellulite, strangely hairy women? It's as if the mild temperatures become the dog whistle of grossly over-weight women in clothing that maybe on a normal person might be an XXL but on them fits more like a small condom on Tommy-Lee's cock. I have said it before and I will say it again, I have no problem with extremely large women with cankles, tripple chins, back breasts and front butt - HOWEVER, just because they make clothing in your size DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD WEAR IT! CAMEL TOE IS NOT THE NEW CLEAVAGE! LEAVE YOUR TWAT LIPS @ HOME

What brought this on you ask? A chance encounter with what I like to call the 'wild beasts' of my university. The incedent occured about 2 weeks ago. I was in the library studying for one of my last exams when something large and orange waddled through my peripheral vision. Obviously I had to see what this was and when I looked up I noticed two, very large 'horizontally challeneged' women in tanks tops being devoured by the folds in their bellies. So, being the insensitive woman that I am I turned to my friend and said, "Do you think we could harvest their ivory?" Apparently I must have said this quite loud because they stopped their migration in mid stomp and turned to me and said "You're such a bitch" Well needless to say, I was quite terrified. Forget the fact that either of these women could sit on me and effectively crush my windpipe or crack a rib and puncture a lung, the real terror came when I realised they were on their way to lunch and I began to suspect that their looks of hate and disgust were really masking their inner desire to eat me. So, time stood still for a moment of paralyzing terror util one of them (the one in orange) said "Yeah! We're members of PETA and thats cruelty towards animals!"

I think this post will be best left alone at this point...