The Two-Week Funk

It's been awhile since I've updated so I decided to use the time that I am in my summer course to fill in the past two weeks. I wish I could say that it has been an extremely busy time but it hasn't. Instead I have spent my days waking up at the ass crack of dawn to get to my course on time and watching my ever-expanding thighs widen as I sit on my ass watching old episodes of Buffy the Vampire slayer. This course I am taking, and my job at the office have begun to slowly sap my will to live - each day I walk into the seminar room or I enter the office and spot my cubicle from across the room a little part of me withers and dies. This is exactly why I must continue to pursue my PhD, there is no way in hell I can spend the next 30 years of my life working a 'real' job. As for the love/sex life I will break it down quickly.

Oxford (Sophisticated Older Man from Class): After months of dirty talk and plans to 'consumate our desires' before he goes away to Wales for his Masters when he breaks up with his girlfriend, I decided to put an end to it all. I admitted that I had feelings for him and anything we did would be more than just sex for me."t I am regretting it now as it was met on his end with a "that is really flattering" and "Adorable." Prick.

Suavier (Crazy Psycho Stalker Man): Yes, after months of avoidance and blatant brushing off he continues to email and message me in a desperate and fruitless attempt to get me to go away with him.

While my love life is dwindling there is hope. A good looking Kinesiology major in my class might prove to be a viable opportunity. Heres hoping!

Last weekend did prove to add some excitment. I went to a country bar to celebrate my birthday with some friends, of course LemonDrop came. The night was pretty good, was enjoying the $3 beers, that is until I went up to the bar and was hit on by a guy who looked to be a mix of Freddie Prince Jr and Mr. Bean. I went to the bar and he approached me and said "You're 16 right?" To which I replied "No. You have to be atelast 19 to be in here" "Uhh yes but there are such things as fake ID's, you're 16 right? Do you have a boyfriend? Im 24." I looked at him, grabbed my beer and backed slowly away. This wasnt the worst happestance of the evening. Later as after I had finished shakin' my thang to a rendition of 'I Will Survive' we decided to leave because the bar was closing. OUtside the bar there was a hotdog stand, and of course, being drunk the idea of food just seemed irresistable. So as I was putting ketchup on my street meat, a blonde girl in a cowboy hat approached me and began to carress my arm and say "I was watching you on the dance floor, You are a great dancer and have this innate sexuality about you." I finished with the condiment and looked at her and said "I like HotDogs" then walked off. Im not sure if she really understood.