Another Year

Where to begin? A lot has happened since my last post - I would love to say that I have fallen behind posting because of my hectic schedule and other pressing demands but that would be a lie, in reality I have spent the last week eating, sitting on my ass, worrying about summer and short weather comming up, and watching re-runs of friends. Although, I did work out twice, once on the eliptical machine, the other time to the Carmen Electra strip aerobics dvds, which, while helpful if I was to being my own burlesque troop, didnt really 'work me out' and I think I pulled a muscle after I finished with the lap dance portion of the lesson...

However, something semi-eventful did happen, on Sunday I turned another year older. That's right! Im one step closer to being able to justify the use of adult diapers, no longer will I have to get up during an episode of Gilmoure Girls to go pee, nor will I have to worry about that pesky flushing business that men just cant seem to be bothered to do... Ok I have oficially sickened myself so I will move on with the topic. Birthday, yes...aging...wrinkles...sagging...shrivelling bloom of youth...osteoperosis....liver spots....grey hair...viagra.,..broken hips. I think I've pretty much covered it right? Why is it that I am only in my early 20's and already I have begun to fear the prospect of getting old? It's sad really, I have already made the swtich to only using moisturizers that contain that 'skin firming anti-aging formlua', and yesterday, I caught myself wishing I had brought my sunglasses when I went outside becuase squinting was going to give me crowsfeet. Why is it that women spend their entire youth scared about growing old? Shouldnt we be more concerned with our imminent death rather than a few wrinkly bits? I mean the whole obsession with eternal beauty and youth does seem a bit un-realistic and demented, yet, I can't bring myself to fear my own death, but the thought of laugh lines is enough to make me want to adopt hundreds of orphan babies and create an advanced machine to sap and harvest their youth. *evil cackle* I realise that this obsession with staying young forever is really a problem perpetuated by a media that tells us that old is ugly and young is where it's at, but frankly, I dont care. Ill admit it - Id rather bathe in the blood of 30 youthful virgins to keep my tits perky than risk tripping on them and breaking a hip at 70.